1.) On the first date

2.) Just after you’ve introduced yourself

3.) As you ejaculate

4.) When you get caught cheating

5.) When you’re over an hour late

6.) As a clarifier to saying ‘you look a bit fat in that’

7.) After you’ve hit on someone else in front of them

8.) As a legitiamte response in a row

9.) In your second online message

10.) As a response to a question you don’t know the answer to

For these moments there are two even more perfect words: SHUT UP.

You know when you’re pining for someone after a date? It’s rare. It feels amazing. It’s the sign of a good date. But not all dates leave you feeling this way. In fact a lot of them make you want to give up the dating world all together. 2011 was not a good dating year for me. Here are some of the more memorable gems which I share with you for your viewing pleasure:

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